“I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then”

Welcome.

Some of you are old friends and some of you are new…thank you for coming.

This is a new chapter of an old journey.

As you will see if you go to my “About” page, I’ve been around the block a few times with health and fertility challenges.  11 years’ worth of blocks. For the first 7 years I was diagnosed with various things and every time we thought we had resolved whatever it was, still nothing happened. No pregnancy. At the age of 37 I was told I had High FSH and Premature Ovarian Failure and that my husband and I would not be able to conceive with my eggs. I persevered, anyway, turning over every stone I could in my quest to have a child of our own. At that time, I started my first Late for a Very Important Pregnancy blog on Blogger and joined a community of incredible women from all over the world who were also struggling with fertility challenges. I have learned a lot from the women I have met via blogging and I have explored every avenue I could to try to conceive. At one point, about a year ago, as some bloggers do, I felt overwhelmed by how public my journey had become and I decided to take my blog private and share it only with a select few (100 select few, because that’s all Blogger would allow).

Why am I opening up my story to the public again?

Because after 11 years and tens of thousands of dollars invested in medications, supplements, alternative therapies, etc., I think I have figured out how to finally resolve my Premature Ovarian Failure. I feel it is my responsibility to share this with other women also suffering with this devastating diagnosis who may benefit from the treatment I am about to undergo. I wish I had found out about it sooner as I am now 41 years old and it may be too late for me to conceive. Regardless, I am going to try. And this treatment will help prevent the development of other health problems resulting from this condition (i.e. osteoporosis).

In the posts you are about to read here, I am going to describe my experience and everything I learn as I consult with the specialist I plan to travel to see and as I undergo testing and treatment. Unfortunately, for legal reasons, I cannot name my specialist or his clinic on this public blog. So, as it is the White Knight who rescues Alice from the Red Knight and takes her to the eighth square where she is finally crowned queen, that is how I will refer to this doctor – as far as I am concerned, he is my  White Knight and my last hope for achieving pregnancy. That said, for anyone reading this, if you want specific details about who he is and where he is located and so on, please e-mail me and I will give you all the info I can (verymadhatter@live.com).

I am excited and hopeful about this next leg of what has been a long and difficult journey. Because it is going to cost about $20,000 for the travel and medical expenses involved, and my husband and I do not currently have access to the funds to cover it, it may take a little while for me to get to the treatment stage. I am determined to do it, though. Because of this, my best friend encouraged me to set up a Go Fund Me page to ask for help from readers. This makes me feel a bit uncomfortable because I think, “Why should anyone help us?”, I swallowed my pride and created one. There is no obligation whatsoever, but if you can spare a small amount to help us reach our savings goal a little faster, I would be very grateful. Or if you can create awareness about my blog on your blog, that would be helpful, too. I want to help as many women as I can with my story.

Ready?

Let’s do this.

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7 thoughts on ““I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then”

  1. Sweetie, the site does not allow donation from outside the US it seems…Can you check? The problem seems to be the zip code which I have to enter. Love, Fran

  2. Hi Fran…Thank you – I can always rely on you to let me know if something’s up! 🙂
    I seem to be able to only choose one currency at a time…so I just switched it to Euros right now and let’s see if that works for you (thank you! thank you! thank you!). Please keep me posted!
    XOXOXOX
    Love,
    Maddy

  3. I have a question for you! I have PCOS and I went through IUI’s last year. When I had my initial AMH test, it was a 6.9 (anything over 3 is considered high, which makes sense because I have PCOS), but I just got rechecked before starting IVF and it was at a 0.67. My doctor did an ultrasound to double check the test results and also did another blood draw. The blood draw won’t be back until late next week, after we start meds, so the ultrasound was to prove that the 0.67 results were wrong in order to come up with the correct dosage. Turned out the ultrasound confirmed the 0.67 findings. My ovaries are depleted somehow — in one year! The only thing that seems to make sense that I’ve been able to find might be POF, but I thought I might want to see what someone thinks who’s been through it. What do you think? I would appreciate any help or thoughts you may have. I just got this information yesterday, so I’ve been kind of insane trying to find answers until I can talk to my doctor in person.

    • Hi Evelyn,
      I’m so sorry to hear about your AMH results – I know how alarming these numbers and results can be and it’s so hard to know what to do or how to interpret them…please send me an e-mail when you can and I’ll send you some info.
      Take care,
      Maddy

  4. Wow! MADDY! I’ve MISSED YOU! and I wonder all the time how you are doing. When I saw you subscribed to my blog today I thought, “No! It can’t be!” But it is! Yay! I’m so looking forward to following you as you try this new treatment. I hope your White Knight is all you think he might be!

  5. It’s so great to meet you. I’m really looking forward to hearing about your journey. I write a lot about infertility and PCOS. I really hope your White Knight is everything we all hope he is! This is a great idea and a great forum for hope.
    http://www.thefatgirlblog.com

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