Here I am.
How long has it been?
Too long in some ways, but not long enough in others.
I have had some bumpy road lately, but I am still here.
I am finally feeling physically better.
I attribute this to the bioidenticals I’ve been taking as well as the magical Yu Ming, who helped alleviate the pain in my right arm with one fantastic needle in my shoulder. My feet are still a little stiff when I wake up, but I am much much better and I am sure it will only improve with a little more time and a few more acupuncture treatments.
Still no period, but Yu MIng and Dr.March both seem to think it will just take time for my body to catch on.
I was supposed to go for an ultrasound and more bloodwork a couple of weeks ago, but I’ve been away. And I want to delay it as long as I can in the hopes that the better I am feeling, the more likely antral follicles will appear and my hormone panels will look good.
Mr. H and I have been on some trips, which has been fun, and a great way to forget the emotional pain of it all.
I’ve been getting some work done on the kitchen, and am enjoying the designing part – choosing new colours and pieces. I’ve always liked nesting.
Today was a good day. I took the dog to the beach for a swim. I had delicious coffee. I ate wild blueberries. I worked out at the gym. I talked to my dearest friend on the phone. I made fresh, local trout for dinner. It’s the little joys that are keeping me going. And I confess always carry that tiny hope for a miracle baby.
I’ve helped to start a High FSH Moving On forum…it’s slow-going right now, but it’s nice to connect with other women who are in the same boat on Lake Limbo. I feel like so many of the IF blogs I have followed have become Mommy blogs and anyone who hasn’t gotten pregnant just faded away into the ether…it’s very lonely being left behind. And it’s good to support each other. (Please come join us, if you’re reading this and you are in that place, too.)
And then there’s the rest of you…my lovely blog sisters who haven’t given up on me…those of you who keep checking on me and asking how I am. That’s so very sweet of you and it means so much to know that you care and haven’t forgotten about me. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙂