Sometimes in this infertility business we just get caught up in living an unscrutinized life, which is what happened to me this past little while. My freelance work has been crazy, Puppydog has been unwell and in need of medical care (think we’ve finally found the solution now), my husband has been stressed at work and not a happy camper on the month-long dose of oral antibiotics (can’t blame him – I didn’t like them, either), and so on and so on. Just plain life. I tried to keep up here and there with my regimen, or, as Emily Erin affectionately calls it, “regime” :). Here’s a little recap of my progress and stumbles:
SUPPLEMENTS: I’ve faithfully kept up with my Chinese herbs, Vitex and melatonin. I took my probiotic most of the days and my 5 shots of wheatgrass about half of the days. And the other supplements fell to the wayside, unfortunately. The more busy I get, the less attention I pay to them. Tomorrow is another day.
GOOD FOOD: I have been up and down with this. Today (Day 22) I had a banana, plain organic yogurt, homemade tomato sauce (tomatoes, spinach, red and green bell peppers, mushrooms, onions), cabbage soup, coleslaw. Yesterday (Day 21) I had vegetable bean soup with swiss chard, masala dosai, homemade tomato sauce (tomatoes, spinach, red and green bell peppers, mushrooms, onions), peach juice. Generally I think I’ve gone back to my usual habits – eating some good foods, but also giving into cravings and eating less nutritious food as well. Not the stellar work I was doing before, going that extra mile to eat TONS of fresh fruit and veggies…I find I’m more mindful about it when I read my fertility books – they remind me of the good foods I should be eating. They also remind me that I’ve been doing this a helluva long time.
WATER INTAKE: Again, it has been up and down. Must. Drink. More.
EXERCISE: Still just dogwalking, and this has varied based on how well Puppydog has been. I have also had my physical challenges – I awoke with a pulled upper back/neck on Day 13 and have been waiting for it to subside enough for me to work out again. Also, would you believe my stupid foot is still not 100%?? Anyway, I plan to go to yoga class tomorrow regardless of these ailments. Hopefully it will help.
SELF-CARE: Well, I am still enjoying my coffee and tea these days. I am proud to say that I am participating in the 21-Day Meditation Challenge with Oprah and Deepak Chopra – today was the third day and I love the guided meditations. What else can I tell you? On Day 19 I had my first mammogram ever (remember how I found that lump?). The technician could also detect the lump and took extra care to take pictures of it. She said that because of that I will get a call for an ultrasound as well. At this point, though, the mammogram was normal (but, she said, young breasts are dense so it is harder to see everything – the ultrasound will be more conclusive). That day I also treated myself to a manicure and a blowout and one of those fur vests that have been all the rage this season – I wore it to a dinner that night where I ate lots of yummy food. The other self-care work I have been doing is organizing our house – moving furniture, decluttering, that sort of thing. Yu Ming is away right now, but I think she returns next week. In the meantime, I have an appointment to see Energy Man this Saturday.
OBSERVATIONS: Okay, so some good news…I don’t know how or why – maybe a result of the probiotics kicking in or the new herb blend Yu Ming gave me (San Huang Pian), but for the past week or so, the yellow discharge and the itchiness disappeared and I’ve had clear cervical mucous. Not a ton of it, mind you, but a noticeable amount. Today there was a little bit of yellow and a little bit of itch – I missed my probiotic yesterday, so back on it today and we’ll see what tomorrow brings. Also, I’m feeling some cramping and PMS irritability, along with that exhausted feeling that I used to get when my period was coming. I also notice an increase in hot flashes again these past few days. My intuition tells me that my body is still cycling every 4 weeks, even if I haven’t been full out bleeding. Remember I had heavy spotting in mid-December. Then in mid-Feb when Mr. H and I were getting treatment, I had a little spotting around the 14th. I won’t be surprised if I have spotting or – dare I say it – a period over the next few days. Energy Man always comes into town mid-month and I seem to be spotting/bleeding whenever I see him (or right afterwards) – this happened in October and December. Hopefully this weekend, too! Oh, and a TCM observation – my tongue has bee consistently healed for the past week or so…no patch at the back like there used to be….something is better!
So I’m like a teeter totter these days…trying to get that elusive balance between supplements and diet and exercise and mind/body, not to mention taking care of my art and my marriage and my family and my pets…sometimes up and sometimes down…but always moving, always trying.